Heart's there, mind's where?

∼April 7, 2014∼

A place to feel; a place to think.
Where would you rather be.

Sometimes people enter my life and they appear as *just another person*. Slowly, but steadily and suddenly you start thinking of them a lot and maybe you're wondering what they are doing at the moment and are they thinking of you? Then you walk around with the person in your head and you feel something you didn't do in the beginning. Without noticing your way of words, you start mentioning the name of the person to your family and friends and  it hits you and you begin to wonder: "is this person really *just another person* in your life?" As the weird creature we are, we put our brain in overdrive. Maybe you think about a hundred logical reasons to why you shouldn't feel this way because what if - and I say what if - the feelings are not reciprocated or maybe your feelings are waved by others opinions which indirectly affects your feelings. Maybe it's the other way around and you are feeling too much and you're blinded by all logic. Either way in the end, you don't understand what you're feeling or what you're thinking. Everything is just one big, messy blur. Nothing connects and nothing fits. Of course, sometimes things just click. But for me? Nah, I am just a bit disconnected to be lucky enough for things to just fit. Even worse or (more unlucky) is when the person you share memories with, becomes a stranger. Making friends sure is hard.

I wish I could just enjoy feeling and thinking at the same time. In the perfect world; these things would be united, but unfortunately it's not always so.

In my hometown I have plenty of time to think, but I don't got space for my feelings. At home I got plenty of time to feel, but I can't seem to think anything through. Oh I wish things were more simple.

To answer the question above: The first is no better than the latter. Feeling is important, but thinking is likewise. I try to think of it this way: there is a space and time for everything! Right now I want to feel more and think less, but that's not always the case. I spend more time thinking than actually feeling. It's difficulty to find room for both feeling and thinking.

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