love is madness and if it's not, I don't want it

∼February 16, 2014∼

Valentine's day aka the singles' awareness day is over. It was on Friday and per usual: it was just like any other normal day. I don't think I have ever celebrated it with a s/o. Mostly with friends where we talk about how it's okay to be single lol.

Last year I baked a cake which was super delicious so I was thinking I would do something different this year like making chocolate. I've been thinking it ever since I came back from Japan. Some girlfriends and I have been talking about it and I like the idea of giving something to someone. It's just a sweet thought, right? I originally intended to gift my sister and my best friends, but I live away from home so it's not possible.

I remember when I was in Japan: Valentines day was a huge thing. It's not really so big here in Denmark. Or at least it's nowhere near as overexposed like in Japan. I don't think couples care so much about Valentine's Day. The typically answers are "nothing special" or "we treat each other as it's valentines everyday" (lol about that last one haha! Oh please haha.)

I ended up having a regular day. It wasn't entirely a great day as I have been experiencing some cramps and headaches leading up to Valentines day :-( but it was still very pleasant. I went to the gym, but at the moment my motivation is very lacking. It's a pain to drag myself to the gym, but when I am there I enjoy it. I can't wait for Summer to arrive: laying by the beach, sitting my garden and sipping on an orange juice. Oh the life!

I have probably mentioned this before, but I am still pondering about it. Recently I talked to my friend about what am I doing with myself. I feel there is too much indifference in my life. It's annoying me. A lot actually. I don't want to settle. I refuse to settle.
It's not doing me any good.

I am engaging in all these relations and I am so unsure what will lead from them. I don't like to waste my time. I have no reason to waste my time with people I don't give a shit about and I don't need people who don't give a shit about me. I don't want to engage in relationships where we're purely acquainted to satisfy our own needs. I can't do it. Where's the substance? Whether it's friendship or love: it should shake me up. Make me feel like there is something that connects us more than our existence. Relations are so easy nowadays. Or at least that's what I have been experiencing lately. 

If I wanted to screw around, I could easily find someone who would screw me.
If I wanted a boyfriend, I could just stop being nit-picky and settle with the first guy that comes around. It's just that.. I don't want it! 

I mean: if love is not madness, then what is love? If love doesn't shake my heart then what is the point of love? I want to feel comfortable, but still feel like my heart is being shaken by another person. I guess, I am trying to say that even when you're alone on a lover's day - just think about the reasons why you should be with someone. 

In reality, I don't need anyone to make me happy. I make a choice to be happy and honestly I can openly joke about why I am alone on a lover's day because I am comfortable with the fact.

Having ranted a lot: I hope everybody (both singles and taken) had a wonderful week!
If you're single; great, we have something in common. If you're taken; maybe next year I will be the same lol!

Some bonus thoughts from my little mind today:
Be nice, be good and most importantly be yourself.
By the end of the day: You are the most important person in your life.
I feel like appreciating myself has made me more capable of showing how much I appreciate others.
And it's such a win-win situation for everyone hihihi!!
Lots of love from me to youuuuuuu <3

ps: I am adding a blogroll on my blog like of certain people's blog. I already have some blogs on my mind, but if anyone wants to be added - please say so :-)

No comments:

Post a Comment

back to top