is 'no strings attached' possible?

∼February 27, 2014∼


Today I am just going to rant about my thoughts on relationships with no-strings attached. 

In our society there is an obvious sexual double standard: A man can do whatever be wants and he have sex with multiple girls and nobody blinks an eye. A woman can do the same, but all of a sudden she is viewed as a slut if she has sex more than once or if she is casually having sex with someone. Or she's just considered loose.

These double standards are embedded in our brains. And. It. Is. Horrible.

From my observations: Men can suggest 'no strings attached'; play a bunch of women and they don't necessarily care about feelings. Whereas if women do the same: we're suddenly bombarded with judgments and people saying how we should be worried about our image. I mean, why can't women do the same without being judged for being whatever a man does. 

Sometimes my friends ask me: why are you wasting your time with losers?


"He doesn't want you any good. Don't do that. What will people think of you? Are you really that naive? Do this, do that. Just wait. The right guy will come along. You're basically asking to be seen a certain way. Why are you acting dumb when you're not?"


I love when people give me advice on how I should live my life, but remember I am not robot. I can't do things just because you tell me too. Yes, I am inexperienced, but I am not stupid nor am I a super human. Foolish assumption to make of anyone.

Any day of the week, I more than welcome my friends' advice/opinions, but by the end of the day - I will do whatever sees me fit. If it's a foolish mistake, I know that it's entirely my own fault.

Sometimes I wonder if they ever stop up to think that maybe I don't want anything serious? Or maybe that I have thought about things before telling them about my life. Like, maybe I am just acting on my needs because I haven't found the right guy yet or whatever I want at the moment? 

If a guy can play those card, I sure as hell can too. If a man can do, a woman can too. 

There is just one little thing. As a woman, we *unintentionally or intentionally* play these silly mind games. 

We commit to something and we think we're in control by saying: "I got this, I know what is going to happen and I will keep it strictly NSA like he said we should. I am not going to put any feelings into it because he's not going to either." 

But somewhere along the way: the I-don't-care becomes I-pretend-not-to-care. The lines appear blurred. I feel that women have a tendency to challenge ourselves and we want to make everything into a game. If a guy wants NSA; we might agree, but it wouldn't be odd that maybe we're indirectly trying to make a no-strings attached to all-strings attached. We want what we can't have and maybe when we try to make someone else fall for us, we end up falling for them instead. Foolish, eh?

I am not speaking from my own experiences, but I think I tried something similar. I was set an boundary and out of curiosity, I wanted to see where those boundaries went and I also wanted to see where my own boundaries were. I would try to take things as far as I was comfortable with and if the person didn't react, I would continue doing it because it was nice and it didn't harm me nor the other person. It didn't backfire though and I learned a lot from it.

I need to be careful. I need to know what I am getting myself into. I need to be sure that I am actually in control of what's happening in my head. Keyword: need. What do you need? When one figures that out, it's so much easier for everyone.

There have been times where I wanted to do something, but my mind was not into it. You know those times where you're like "aaaaaah, should I or should I not?", but then you feel guilty or something. The times where your body and mind conflicts. What the body may want, is not necessarily what the mind wants. 

Usually when things conflicts, I wait. I see time do its work.

I see how things progress and then I make a decision. I can't rush things because it upsets me. I want to think things through because after I decide something - I am the one who will take responsibility for it.

Do yourself a favor: Figure out what you need and want for the moment. Decide what should be done and refuse to blame others for your own actions. Make up your mind. Don't play any games because in the end you're just playing yourself. Just be you!

• Enough of my ranting. I realize that this entry is so f*cking vague because I am just writing from the top of my head •

So let's hear it: opinions on 'no strings attached'/'friends with benefits'?
  
Are girls drawing the short stick here?
I realize it's an inappropriate topic (for me at least), but it's so interesting!
For me personally, I think it's possible if you know yourself well enough. Or you're slight emotionally detached LOL

ps. I added a blogroll! Write if you want to be a part of it :-)

personal memory:〖25/2-14〗~(˘▾˘~)
→ (2+5)*2=14 * I call it lucky 7's and 2's 

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